Getting a visit from me

[Marcus-SanDiego]

If you notice me as a recent visitor to your profile page, that's likely not a good sign. It means that I'm combing through all of your posts, trying to see if there is a pattern and practice of behavior that deserves closer scrutiny from me and the moderators.

What typically happens is that I'll get a PM from another member telling me about a comment made by you. If the PM contains enough information to make me take a second look, that's usually when I'll start digging around. If I see a pattern emerging, or recent comments that don't comport with how we typically conduct ourselves around the forum, I'll shoot the person a PM. My PMs are RARELY heavy handed. I'm not an ass who has to throw around weight. I just want to make sure that the member understands that he or she has recently gained some negative attention. I tell that person why. And that's usually the end of it.

Anyhow, let's remain the professional, civil, and friendly people we normally are away from this site. If you find that you're behaving (poorly) on the site, it might be time to put yourself in check.

I don't mind people disagreeing with people; I don't mind people having their opinions; I certainly don't mind people saying why they do and do not care for something. But if you're going to do that, be sure to do it in a way that demonstrates that you're not one step removed from e46fanatics.com. If you're unable to do that, then you're probably in the wrong place.

Thanks.

[Marcus-SanDiego]

Oh, and I am typically the last to hear about stuff -- as compared to the moderators. They always seem to hear things first!

Anyone who has ever received a PM from me can vouch that I am usually the last person, among the three bosses, to make contact. If you've never received a corrective-action note from me, that's great. It means that you're perhaps a bit off balance but not so off balance that it requires three of us to keep you upright.

Anyhow, stay non special, folks. That's just the way we like it.

[johnrando]

Oh dang. When I read the title I thought this was like Santa Claus and you were going to visit all of us individually. The whole town could prepare for the godfather's arrival, just like the movies!

Since it's not, Keeping this place "family" friendly is a good thing too though. :thumbsup

[Marcus-SanDiego]

:biggrin ^^^

John, there is always a chance that I'll visit you personally, given our proximity to one another. ;)

[az3579]

I can attest to this. Don't get a visit...


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[Marcus-SanDiego]

No worries, BP. Long time ago.

[Ryans323i]

Fwew, no visits here.

[Hermes]

I can attest to this. Don't get a visit...


Sent from my iPhone 4S from Tapatalk

+1 - I haven't had a talking to in a long time

[danewilson77]

+1 - I haven't had a talking to in a long time

:rofl

I will mimic what Mark says by saying that "Self Moderation" is the best solution.

Everyone should already be in the habit of reading what they type, then thinking about that other guy, who may take offense to what you've typed.....before you hit the "reply" button.

We have people here from all different races, religion, and creeds and who own all sorts of cars (Audi, Honda, Kia, etc), who have collectively, every mod installed onto their car, who live in all different parts of the country, in many different dwellings, who like to eat different foods...well....you get my point.

Just be sensitive to your fellow Family member is all and use self moderation, and we should be good.

[Mtnman]

Wait. You visited my page, but i dont know how long ago! Was it this week or last year? Aghhhh! Keith visited too. Uh oh. Is it because of the Audi? I swear im selling it!

[Marcus-SanDiego]

I just visited your page, David. I was curious to see who had visited your page recently. Ha!

[az3579]

Wait. You visited my page, but i dont know how long ago! Was it this week or last year? Aghhhh! Keith visited too. Uh oh. Is it because of the Audi? I swear im selling it!

Sell Audi or ban. :biggrin


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[wsmeyer]

I got a visit, no message though.

:dunno

[Marcus-SanDiego]

William, sorry, pal.

[danewilson77]

So....if you receive a visit from Mark, and there is no message, that's good.

Correct Mark?

[wsmeyer]

Maybe I just have a stalker

[danewilson77]

Maybe I just have a stalker

No. He doesn't beat around the bush. If something is wrong...he'll tell you for sure.

[Dave_B]

No visitors here. At least not from The Boss.

I love this self moderation stuff here though. I'm an admin on another site and it's a LOT of overhead.

[Marcus-SanDiego]

Dave, early on, when the site was open to anyone (and they could join off the street), it was a lot more work. You just didn't know what you were getting.

Now that we've closed the site (except for those we choose to bring in), things are running on auto pilot for the most part.

I couldn't be more pleased with the group of members we have here. It's really one of the best forums I've been associated with.

[UdubBadger]

Mark is pulling out the rulers... get your wrists ready.

[Marcus-SanDiego]

Nah. ^^^

[LivesNearCostco]

I try to keep my posting as mild as the cheese from Subway (not counting the pepper jack).

[johnrando]

I try to keep my posting as mild as the cheese from Subway (not counting the pepper jack).

lol

[Johnmadd]

Mark is pulling out the rulers... get your wrists ready.

Zhp Rolex?

[Marcus-SanDiego]

New ZHP Rolex watches. Watch your mailboxes.

[Avetiso]

Thank you for your work Marcus. Hopefully I am never caught on the wrong side, and I will do me best to stay on the right side. This forum is what it is because of how you guys handle it; ftw.

[Marcus-SanDiego]

For the most part, this is a heck of a great site with top-notch members. It's so rare for me to hear about some skirmish or member who is causing trouble.

This morning, when I got the note about a member, it caught me off guard. It was about 6:15 AM. I read every post from the user. By and large, the member hasn't had any trouble on the site. I noticed some judgmental comments that probably don't have a place here at the site but I didn't get in a twist over it. I'll continue to monitor to see if it continues or escalates.

Oh, and before I forget, no need to thank me. You can really thank my moderators, Dane and Keith, for how this site is handled on a day-to-day basis. I'm rarely part of the moderation process. I'm only brought in if things get entirely out of hand.

[kayger12]

Wait. You visited my page, but i dont know how long ago! Was it this week or last year? Aghhhh! Keith visited too. Uh oh. Is it because of the Audi? I swear im selling it!

I visited when you weren't around a lot... to see if you had logged in lately.

I missed you. :wub

[Johnmadd]

New ZHP Rolex watches. Watch your mailboxes.

Alright... gigitty :quagmire

[Johnmadd]

I visited when you weren't around a lot... to see if you had logged in lately.

I missed you. :wub

I missed you to cupcake

[Mtnman]

I visited when you weren't around a lot... to see if you had logged in lately.

I missed you. :wub

Careful what you wish for..... Im back now!

:cheers. And :grouphug missed you too buddy

[kayger12]

For the most part, this is a heck of a great site with top-notch members. It's so rare for me to hear about some skirmish or member who is causing trouble.

This morning, when I got the note about a member, it caught me off guard. It was about 6:15 AM. I read every post from the user. By and large, the member hasn't had any trouble on the site. I noticed some judgmental comments that probably don't have a place here at the site but I didn't get in a twist over it. I'll continue to monitor to see if it continues or escalates.

Oh, and before I forget, no need to thank me. You can really thank my moderators, Dane and Keith, for how this site is handled on a day-to-day basis. I'm rarely part of the moderation process. I'm only brought in if things get entirely out of hand.

Yep.

It's funny because the three of us have completely different trip wires:

I'm like early-warning radar. I'm usually the first to be tweaked by a comment and am usually the first to say something behind the scenes. I'm quick to judge people which, while a side effect of 20 years in my chosen profession (where it is mostly helpful) , isn't my best or proudest personality trait in normal human interaction (as I'm sometimes wrong about people).

Dane is like Defcon 2. He's got a ton of grace, is uber forgiving, and isn't bothered by the stuff that irks me. So when we both have someone on our radar, it's usually a sign that somebody is straying from the family rules.

Boss is like Defcon 1. If he has to step in it means that there is something that needs to be addressed. He is undoubtedly the best communicator among the three of us and has an uncanny ability to constructively critique someone in an incredibly effective yet inoffensive manner.

What I've always loved about being involved with both of them is that their personalities, while different than mine and each other's, perfectly compensate for the weaknesses in mine.

It just works.

[kayger12]

I missed you to cupcake

:keith

[Hermes]

New ZHP Rolex watches. Watch your mailboxes.

I'll PM you my address so you can send OG spec watch to my house. Thanks Boss!

[Marcus-SanDiego]

Yep.

It's funny because the three of us have completely different trip wires:

I'm like early-warning radar. I'm usually the first to be tweaked by a comment and am usually the first to say something behind the scenes. I'm quick to judge people which, while a side effect of 20 years in my chosen profession (where it is mostly helpful) , isn't my best or proudest personality trait in normal human interaction (as I'm sometimes wrong about people).

Dane is like Defcon 2. He's got a ton of grace, is uber forgiving, and isn't bothered by the stuff that irks me. So when we both have someone on our radar, it's usually a sign that somebody is straying from the family rules.

Boss is like Defcon 1. If he has to step in it means that there is something that needs to be addressed. He is undoubtedly the best communicator among the three of us and has an uncanny ability to constructively critique someone in an incredibly effective yet inoffensive manner.

What I've always loved about being involved with both of them is that their personalities, while different than mine and each other's, perfectly compensate for the weaknesses in mine.

It just works.

The beauty of all this, of course, is that it's so infrequent that we have to reach out to someone.

I agree that we set the tone early on in the site's existence (on what's acceptable) but members have done an outstanding job of buying into what we were and are selling here.

I'm convinced that self selection has worked wonders on our site. People who may have joined our site decided not to because their brand of behavior wouldn't be tolerated here. While they could have misbehaved for a moment, they would have been tossed almost immediately. I figure they just didn't want to waste their time here.

Others still are probably inactive members at ZHPMafia.com. These are the people who joined but never posted, realizing that they couldn't behave in an adult-like manner. I don't confuse those people with lurkers who signed up and who would otherwise be a joy to consort with if they did post.

Again, running this site is pretty easy compared to most forums. Our members enjoy one another. Our members discuss issues -- rather than attack each other (that's a phrase that I drove home HARD when I first started this forum). Our members conduct themselves in a way that is very similar, if not exactly, to the way they conduct themselves at their physical offices or homes.

I've got to think that 99.9% of the e-thugs on other forums do not behave that way outside of their online community of choice. One, they'd get their asses kicked in the real world. Two, they'd be shunned by the community. And, three, they couldn't say the stuff they say with impunity.

There should be consequences for the way people behave -- both online and offline. Alas, many sites have taken a hands off approach to moderating behavior. The thinking may be that members can regulate the bad behavior on their own. Owners and moderators shouldn't have to regulate every issue (no matter how large it is). ZHPMafia.com management is different.

We want our members to enjoy the freedom to disagree. We don't want our members to feel stifled. But its our belief that you can have disagreement without the need to get in the mud, where expletives and other elementary tactics rule the day.

I do not suffer those who cannot discuss issues without resorting to ad hominem attacks. If someone must engage in that logical fallacy, they're better off simply not discussing the issues. Just move along to a different thread. Indeed, nothing gets my attention faster than a member who makes irrational arguments and can't figure out how to disagree in a professional manner.

As civilized, educated, and fully evolved adults we should be able to coexist at the forum. In fact, given the framework that's been laid out at ZHPMafia.com, our rule of law so to speak, we should be able to thrive here. The beauty of having rules is that it gives one a ton of freedom with which to work (assuming, of course, that the rules are not oppressive).

Finally, management must remain consistent. We can't condone certain behavior today and crush it tomorrow. That's precisely why management has remained steadfast in its response to bad behavior at the site. If we allow bad behavior to flourish, then others (so inclined) may indulge the behavior as well. Eventually, this drives out the good citizens (who comprise a HUGE majority) and leaves the unsavory residue behind (a tiny minority) that eventually transitions into a majority. So, we are not the Party Elite from Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four but we're not going to let it become Prince's Party Like It's 1999 in here either.

Rest assured that ZHPMafia.com will never, ever be that forum. Because would-be bad actors know this, we've been blessed with the group that participates here on a regular basis.

The management team has made a promise to each other that no tiny minority will ever be allowed to gain a foothold here. We take seriously our commitment to not let you down in that regard.

[WOLFN8TR]

I guess I'm OK beings I haven't been on here all that much the last 4 weeks. Been stopping by here and there but not posting anything to warrant a visit from the Boss.

:lurk

[Marcus-SanDiego]

We miss you, Gary.

[WOLFN8TR]

We miss you, Gary.

Thanks!

Life's been a bit challenging lately. I was really starting to have Mafia withdrawals.

[johnrando]

Well, glad to have you back. Hope things are working out ok.

[Mike V]

Yikes, I have visits from admin and moderators. I hope I didn't misbehave. :)

[WOLFN8TR]

Well, glad to have you back. Hope things are working out ok.

Thanks John. All Good on this Roller Coaster called life.

[Marcus-SanDiego]

Yikes, I have visits from admin and moderators. I hope I didn't misbehave. :)

Not always a sure-fire tell that you are on our radar. And usually I will send someone a note right away.

You're all right, amigo.

[BimmerWill]

Just wanted to point out how much a privilege it is to be a member to this forum. Ive been browsing some other forums looking for more info on the 1 series and it really hammers home how wonderful the community is here. It really shocked me to see how much different a lot of the other forums are in comparison. Hardly a thing seems to get accomplished other then members bashing one another back and forth.

Complete contrast to how it is here and we have the Boss and Mods to thank for it as well as members who all bring a positive outlook.

Okay im done lol...

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk 2

[Marcus-SanDiego]

Just wanted to point out how much a privilege it is to be a member to this forum. Ive been browsing some other forums looking for more info on the 1 series and it really hammers home how wonderful the community is here. It really shocked me to see how much different a lot of the other forums are in comparison. Hardly a thing seems to get accomplished other then members bashing one another back and forth.

Complete contrast to how it is here and we have the Boss and Mods to thank for it as well as members who all bring a positive outlook.

Okay im done lol...

Sent from my DROID BIONIC using Tapatalk 2

Same here. Trust me. I browse other forums too. I call it slumming. There is a stark difference between ZHPMafia.com and MOST forums. There are still some pretty friendly places out there but they are few and far between.

I like coming back to ZHPMafia.com, though, because I know that I don't have to worry about my words being twisted and criticized simply because someone doesn't like the way I said something.

So, I slum every now and then but I always know that I can return home.

[BimmerWill]

Same here. Trust me. I browse other forums too. I call it slumming. There is a stark difference between ZHPMafia.com and MOST forums. There are still some pretty friendly places out there but they are few and far between.

I like coming back to ZHPMafia.com, though, because I know that I don't have to worry about my words being twisted and criticized simply because someone doesn't like the way I said something.

So, I slum every now and then but I always know that I can return home.

Excellent way to put it sir.

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